July 18, 2012
After arriving in Manila and living in the slums these past few weeks, my mind has been consumed with countless thoughts. To be honest, I don’t even know where to begin with what I’ve seen, encountered, and experienced. Let me begin with, I will never forget my first night in the slums. It was already dark by the time we got to our host family’s home. While walking through this narrow space not knowing what I was stepping on was very difficult. Not knowing the next step in front of me through the wet and uneven path made me very nervous. I was scared. When we arrived to our home I couldn’t help but observe everything around me. There was half a floor, one made of tile and the other side just concrete. There was also half a ceiling and a part of the ceiling was coming down. When I went to use the bathroom I couldn’t help but notice the roaches scurrying around the kitchen sink. Our family owns seven pigs and you can smell them throughout the house, the smell rarely goes away. There were no beds, we all slept on the floor and I couldn’t help but notice the lizards and roaches crawling on the walls as I was laying down. I was terrified. Honestly, I wanted to leave. I didn’t think I could handle it. I cried myself to sleep that night.
Although the first night was very difficult, my thoughts and feelings have dramatically changed since then. We live in a center with six girls. These girls come from broken families and homes. We got the chance to visit their original homes where they have been raised. As we were walking to each of their houses I noticed the path we were walking on. There was trash basically cemented into the ground, mud (so I think), and a lot of wetness. When we arrived to Jocel’s home (one of the girls from the center), I couldn’t help but think this is not a home. It was a room with a hammock looking bench that was used as a bed and the floor that it rested on. There was no bathroom, no kitchen, nothing. Before we walked in Jocel told us that her father had died from rabies and her mother left her and her siblings and started a new family. Jocel mentioned that her mother only talks to her when she needs money. But most of the time she never really sees her mom. Her story broke my heart. Before I knew Jocel’s story I noticed she was very quiet and independent. Now I’m slowly seeing why. It seems that she had to take care of herself and by herself at a very early age. She is sixteen years old but is at a sixth grade level. She put school on hold for a while because she had to work and help out her brothers and sisters. Jocel’s siblings have been adopted into another family so she is now by herself. She says that she will find a new home by herself after her stay at the center. So right now she is working a lot to save up. After visiting their homes I’ve come to the realization that this center that we live in is more than a luxury, it was a privelage.
I hold Jocel’s story close to my heart because although she doesn’t have much she is strong. She clings on to God’s hand for strength and direction and truly believes everything will be okay. I can see it in her heart and I can see it by the actions she takes by being a faithful child of God.
Although I haven’t fully processed through every single thought, I’ve experienced something overwhelming. So overwhelming that I do not feel like the same person. I never really knew what the word “love” meant until I was loved by God, until I saw him love other people, and until he used me to love on others. It’s hard for me to fully fathom but I’ve learned how to fully receive his love. Living and being the incarnation of the gospel changes your heart. God’s infinite and radical love for his people is unexplainable.
Princess Reyes
